"A Hell of a Ride" - Chris Jones Chats with RipLB

Local, well-loved Long Beacher Chris Jones sat down with RipLB founder Jenn Patel to talk about his story, his recent experience running for City Council, and about losing mutual friends to the disease of addiction. Chris's sobriety date is April 26, 2010.

RipLB: How did you initially know you had a problem?

Chris: I painted a good picture on the outside but I was struggling on the inside. I felt really alone, especially towards the end. I remember crying in the shower. I was living with my friends Justin and Nick - I wanted to keep my image, so to speak. I just remember being so depressed, and by nature I’m not a depressed person. Now I know it had everything to do with substance-related issues. My story’s a little different than Mike's and Steve’s. I never got arrested, crashed a car - I hit bottom on the inside. We call them "yets" [something I didn't do "yet"]. I didn’t have any “yets” but why do I need to have those "yets?" Why not just nip it in the bud? It was mostly internal, that’s how I knew I was struggling. [Pauses]

...And, the benders. [Laughs.] My life had become unmanageable.

RipLB: Was it hard to stop drinking/using? How did you do it?

Chris: It wasn’t. I had been coming off certain things that gave me a little bit of a physical withdrawal that wasn't as bad as other peoples’ that I’ve heard. For about 10 days to 2 weeks, I wasn't really sleeping or eating. But I started going to programs and kind of got the message early and often. After I started feeling physically better, I started having fun with it and realized it doesn't have to be so tough - and it wasn't. Once the physical things passed it wasn't as bad as other peoples’ was. You hear people who obsess [about not being able to drink anymore] when they first get sober. Some do it for 10 minutes, some obsess for 10 years. I didn't obsess about not being able to drink for too long. I was at my wit's end.

RipLB: How did you actually stop? What was that moment like?

Chris: I reached out to my uncle who’s sober, he lives up north. He said, "I can't come get you right now, but I’m gonna send a couple of my friends to come get you." I was like what? A few hours later three strangers, who I now call my guardian angels, came and picked me up in LB. The weather was terrible, it was pouring rain. They basically came and saved my life. The one thing I remember is that the guy who was driving, Sean, had this way of joking about anything and everything. He looked at me, and I was withered, and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "Not very good," and he said, "Well, you never have to feel like this again." [Pauses.] And by the grace of God, I never have felt like that again since that rainy afternoon.

RipLB: What changes did you have to make once you were sober?

Chris: At the time, I moved home to my mother, I didn’t really have a job per se, I was doing a lot of part-time work. The summer was coming so I did part-time lifeguarding a couple days a week. So I really went headfirst into my program and for the first time in my life, I listened to suggestions. They were suggestions from someone I just met, and essentially another person who saved my life. I "took the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth" as they say; I listened, and it worked.

RipLB: How did/do you handle the tough days in recovery?

Chris: Well, they have these token sayings that can be kinda corny, but they work: "move a muscle, change a thought" is one I use a lot. I got sober at 27 but I really started running at 30 so that helps. Also picking up the phone, reaching out to somebody. I don't know why it is that when you’re really in need of making a call, the phone weighs 900 pounds, but calling someone helps, and being brutally honest. The ocean helps me, anything can help, really. You know what I started doing actually, I started doing things I used to like before I got deep into [addiction]. I started playing hockey again, surfing... I brought it back to basics.

RipLB: How did you deal with old friends?

Chris: My group of friends runs a lot deeper than just drinking buddies. So after I was 3 weeks clean, I went to all of them individually and told them what was up and I got nothing but love and support. I still hang out with them today. Our lives have changed, some of them have kids now. Being around people drinking doesn't bother me at all. The only problem I would have is if it gets to my lips. I didn't get sober to stay locked in my room. I wouldn't recommend it in early sobriety but now it's fine. I've been to bachelor parties, Jill and I hosted a gathering last night. Scrubbing wine glasses, I remember what it was like, and it’s not even worth it.

RipLB: It sounds like you’re free now.

Chris: Oh, I’m free. 100%.

RipLB: What do you do for fun in recovery?

Chris: Oh god, what do I not do? Hmm... just to change that question around: how much fun was I having out there [when drinking/using]? I hear the term "happy hour" now and I know where they get it from. I was literally only happy for an hour. It’s either I was blackout drunk, or it’s sunrise the next morning and my bank account is drained, I got a bloody nose, etc. It was fun to think I’d have a good time, that I would talk to a dozen girls, that my clothes looked good, I smelled nice. But it never worked out that way in reality.

But what I do now - I'm a newlywed, we just bought a house - I like doing work around the house, I go to work, I try to get some type of workout in after work. When there’s waves, I drop everything and go surf.

RipLB: You recently ran for City Council, what made you want to get more involved in your community in that way?

Chris: Yeah! That was a hell of a ride, I could live to be 100 years old and I'll never forget this time. I kind of got involved just by going to city council meetings. I was subtle, I never really spoke up. My brother was on the verge of a layoff from his Long Beach job and I wanted to see why. I just started slowly getting involved, I became interested in a certain political party and I would go to their LB meetings. Then, out of the blue, their chairman interviewed me and asked if I wanted to run and I said I absolutely do, it’s a privilege to be considered. I love Long Beach and the thought of doing service for it... it made me feel very fortunate. (Editor's note: After absentee ballots were counted, Chris lost by a mere 97 votes in a city of approximately 20,000 registered voters. Not bad, Chris!)

RipLB: What's your vision for Long Beach?

Chris: I always thought it was family- and friend-oriented. I would love to, God-willing, have kids, watch them grow up here and go through school. I am not against development by any means. I work in construction by trade but I want it to be beautiful, I want it to be more affordable. I want our generation to be able to afford to live here in the future.

RipLB: Chris, we're both born and raised in Long Beach. We know a lot of the same people, some who we've tragically lost. What do you think it is that people who are struggling aren't getting, that they need?

Chris: It’s hard to say. The way we grew up, we have these 30-year friendships, and so when we hear another name it’s like, "Damn." When I hear another name and it’s like wow, I hung out with him years ago. It is a nationwide epidemic, but the way we are connected to each other - it hits us hard.

The best thing I did for myself was admit defeat and ask for help. It's not the norm for people to do that. I don't know why I was lucky enough to ask for help, some people are court mandated. Someone like myself, I didn't want to live anymore but I didn't have "the guts," let's say, to kill myself. I was one of the blessed ones. My story can hopefully help people but unfortunately it’s not the norm.

RipLB: What's something from your story that you feel could help someone struggling?

Chris: I really feel like all those “yets" - not getting into trouble, losing a marriage, losing the kids - you could live a fine life on the outside but be so miserable on the inside. I would love to hear from anyone who needs help. The way I got [recovery], I got it given to me so freely from three strangers - strangers! I never met them before in my life. I gotta give it back.

#recovery #service #success