Clean and Sober Since 2009

I am happy to do this and to contribute in any shape or form if it could help someone. I have found it to be a complete honor and a privilege to be of service especially when it is to help someone.

I have been clean and sober since October 17, 2009. I have a sponsor, a home group, a commitment, I sponsor other men, and I NEVER say no to service.

I’m born and raised in the West End of Long Beach and I’m Irish so maybe I was destined to drink and drug from the start. I always loved when my parents threw parties and the funnest and coolest people to me always happened to be the drunkest. I couldn’t wait to drink and when I was about 13 years old I was finally asked by the older kids if I wanted anything from the store and I yelled out "Beer!" and immediately felt a part of.

I enjoyed the acting crazy and getting out of myself and blamed all my behaviors on my drinking. Whenever I was questioned my excuses were I was drunk or high. I got my first job when I was 15 just so I could have money to buy beer and weed and couldn’t wait for the weekends so I could hang out with my friends and get hammered. I definitely noticed I drank and used more than my friends and took pride in it.

At 17, I was waiting for my friends to get home from school with a book bag already full of beer or a bottle of liquor and some weed. I wouldn’t dare drink by myself but was drinking alcoholically. I was blacking out and could never get enough and getting into fights and getting arrested became frequent. I always thought I would become a cop and soon was involved on the wrong side of the criminal justice system. I started to look up to the drug dealers and loved being in the bars. Before I knew it I was surrounding myself with all the wrong people and doing all the wrong things.

Alcohol and drugs felt way too good and became such a big and important part of my life. It felt so good that it progressed from weekends to anytime I could and pretty much whenever I left my house I was either under some kind of influence, coming off something or going to get something.

I ended up getting arrested for a bar fight and getting 6 months in jail and 5 years probation. I got out and went right back to the same stuff. I was selling drugs and had no limits once I started to drink. I got good jobs and despite my best efforts was unable to show up with any consistency and was in and out of outpatients. I ended up with serious charges and sentenced to 4.5 years in prison and served 2.5 years upstate for drugs. Came home and eventually went back to drinking, using, and selling drugs.

I was unable to not drink and use and was using daily and most of my "yets" were a reality - including not being a stable and responsible parent to my son. Most of my nights, I wouldn’t be planning to drink, and definitely didn’t want those kinds of nights that turned into mornings or days, but it was always happening no matter what I did or tried.

My last night out there I swore I was not going to drink, I had taken some pain meds as I was doing for the past 9 months daily and when I went out to dinner with my sister, my nephew, and my son I just reached for a beer and then had another. I went home with my son and my nephew trying everything to not get messed up and then I found a bottle of red wine and drank it (trying to keep it civil). I then found a bottle of vodka which I drank, I found a Xanax in my wallet and took it (thought it would keep me calm and in the house). I did play a game of Trouble with them and wound up gambling and calling my sister to tell her her son owed me money, lol. I thought it would be a good idea to smoke weed so I did, and then drugs and alcohol in and out the house all night and morning. I got the kids out the next day and continued my isolated destruction for two more days straight.

Rehab had been suggested to me in the past but this time I felt embarrassed, ashamed, regret, and just not in a good place and for some reason was open to going to a rehab for a change. I left rehab hopeful and fearful, but made a meeting the first night I got out and for the first time ever wanted to follow direction. I got a sponsor, went through the 12 steps, and went to meetings every day and then started to go twice a day. Little by little I started to feel better and was getting connected with people that were sober, and I felt comfortable around people without drugs and alcohol for the first time.

I always thought life would suck without drinking and that I would never have any real fun, which has been the complete opposite, as I truly enjoy my life, I love the person I am today, I am a responsible father to my now 13-year-old son and we have the absolute best relationship any father and son could have! I can take him everywhere I go today and we do mostly everything together.

Engaged!

Mike's son

Mike and the fam

Today when I tell people I will be somewhere I show up. During my sobriety I went back to school and started an internship as a substance abuse counselor and have been working full time for the past six years. I have experienced many trips around the country and find friends and people that want to help everywhere and made the best friends you could ask for.

I surround myself with people who are truly selfless and with people who need help. Today I could not even think of asking for anything else as I have the best life anyone could ask for which includes my beautiful fiancé, supporting mother, father, sister, niece, and nephews and of course, my son.

#service #recovery